I left my heart in Philadelphia
by sicklittlesuicide
Summary: They both miss eachother, but something is always in the way. Jess sends Rory an invitation to his open house, hoping that it would be different, is it? [Starts in 'The Real Paul Anka', but does not follow show after that]
1. Chapter 1

His thoughts 

He felt like he was in the same exact situation that he was in years before. He couldn't acknowledge how far he had come, because he knew something, or someone, that was missing. He felt like he was standing still. Even though he was now a published writer and the owner of a publishing company. It's wasn't worth anything without the blue eyes that he had become so used to seeing in such a small time that he was in Stars Hallow, kissing the owner of said eyes everywhere he could. That had been the happiest time in his life. It had just gone downhill from there.

Not that he wasn't happy now, but he knew it wasn't like anything he felt in Stars Hallow. Nothing could compare. He laughed silently, thinking of the affect she had on him even when he hadn't seen her for close to 2 years. His thoughts were even rambling now, a quality he no doubly got from spending time listening to her talk.

He stood in front of the mail box, trying to decide if he was actually going to send the invitation to her. He wanted her to know that he actually did something with his life, even if he took it for granted. He had heard from Luke that Rory had gone back to Yale. Her life was on track too. His only thoughts were that maybe both of them were in the right place now. Maybe they could finally be together. Nothing would be standing in their way this time. He smiled to himself as he slipped the thin paper into the mail box.

There went nothing. Or maybe everything.

Her thoughts

Logan had left. She watched him leave and felt sadness pull down onto her. Not for the reason she would have thought though. She knew that they were not working out. As much as she did love him, it just wasn't enough. It wasn't fair that after everything, she was still comparing any love prospects to Jess. She couldn't continue in her relationship with Logan, it was fair to him. Her heart wasn't fully in it.

She had made her choice when he came to her dorm. She had sent him away. Who knew if she would ever hear from him again. She sighed. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be then. Maybe she just wasn't meant to be with Jess. She was going to start believing that.

That is, until she went through the mail. She noticed his name immediately. It stood out from all the other lettering. Jess Mariano. She knew in that instant she was going to see him. Maybe not all was lost after all. Her keys were in her hand before she gave it a second thought. The open house wasn't until the next night, but she needed to go now.


	2. Chapter 2

He was talking to Matthew when he sensed her there. He heard the door open and knew instantly who it was. He looked over and saw her. She looked just as beautiful as he remembered her. His heart did a summersault and was instantly in my throat when he walked up to her. He had no idea what he possibly could say to her. Luckily she did. He never did figure out how she did always know what to say.

"I didn't RSVP. Sorry." She smiled. It was the patent, traditional Rory Gilmore smile that ran through your entire body and that you could feel hours later.

He told her that showing up was cool and started to show her around. He suddenly felt very prideful showing this place to her. How much he had done since he lived in Stars Hallow. He wanted to show her that he wasn't as much of a screw up as everyone liked to believe. I left to take care of something with Luke and found her a little while later. He wanted to ask her if she was still with that guy, but he didn't want to be too forward. He knew this could possibly be his last chance; he didn't want to do anything that would screw it up.

"I guess." She replied. He wasn't exactly sure what that meant. Damn him for trying to be subtle.

"Cool, come on." He said back to her as he put his hand on her shoulder to give her the tour of the place that he had taken part of.

He had finished giving her the tour and let her wonder around. He wanted her to be impressed. Before he knew it everyone else was gone but he knew that she was still there. He told Matthew and Chris to leave for the bar without him and stared at her sitting with his book in her hands. She was so incredibly beautiful. He could hardly control himself. He hesitated going over, yet again unsure of what he would say to her. His heart was beating fast, the

"You know you don't have to read it again." He sat across from her. They were so close; it sent chills up his spine.

"I know I don't." She said, holding her page with her finger.

He smiled. He loved how relaxed she looked being so close to him. He was so nervous he had to force himself to sit still while sitting across from her. He wouldn't want to give anything away. He remembered the last time he saw her, he was with whatever his name was, Lawrence maybe? He laughed to himself at his own pathetic ness. He knew Logan's name. He always knew it. That was the guy who actually got to be with her.

"You look happier than the last time I saw you." He observed. He thought of how her smile could light up a dark room.

"I am." He thought how she couldn't be happy with Logan. He wanted the chance to make her happy. "So, everything's fixed?" He hoped that he wasn't being as subtle as he was last time. He wanted to know that he was doing this for a reason.

"Yeah. Everything's fixed." She said quietly. He looked at her and was happy to find that she was looking right back at him. Like they were sharing they same thoughts.

"I'm glad you're here." He told her. It took everything in him to stop him from kissing her. He didn't know if he could stop himself.

"Yeah, me too." He didn't stop himself this time. He leaned in and kissed her. Softly at first but as soon as he felt her kiss him back he deepened it. He put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her as close to him as he could manage while they were sitting down. She pulled away and look at him. He wondered if she was angry. When she smiled, he knew not to worry about it.

He kissed her again. She pulled away much quicker this time and stood up. "Not everything is fixed. Not everything." She put her head in her hands.

He was confused to say the least. He stood up and put his hand on her shoulder. "What do you mean not everything is fixed? You told me it was."

She sighed. He was completely confused. "I'm still with him."

He knew what she was talking about. Logan. She was still with Logan. "Oh."

She looked at him. He could tell by the look in her eye what she was thinking. Or, at least why he hoped she was thinking. "I'm going to fix it." She smiled slightly at him.

"Really?" He asked her. She was going to leave Logan for him? The thought made him smile widely.

She kissed him again. "Yes really." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply. She pulled away and looked at him. "So you haven't showed me the upstairs yet." She smirked. He took her hand and lead her upstairs.

She opened her eyes the next morning, confused about her whereabouts. She was defiantly not in the apartment that she shared with Logan. She looked over at her bedmate and it defiantly wasn't Logan. It was Jess. Her hand flew to her forehead as she remembered the night before. Jess had kissed her. And she kissed him back. He had done a hell of a lot more than kiss her too, explaining both of their lack of clothes.

Sure, she was going to break up with Logan. She wanted to be with Jess, there was no denying that. But she knew she should have waited until it was over with Logan to jump into bed with Jess. He deserved that. She got up and wrapped a sheet around herself, gathering her clothes. She looked over at Jess. She knew she didn't regret anything that had happened the night before. She had wanted it. She still wanted it. But she wanted it in the right way. Not by cheating on a boyfriend who honestly loved her. Rory heard her phone ring and rushed to get it, but not before it woke up Jess. She saw him stir and picked up her phone. The caller ID read Colin which confused her since he was with Logan and out of cell phone range. She looked over at Jess again and saw him staring at her.

"Sorry, I should take this." She walked out into the hallway and wrapped the sheet around herself tighter, hoping that Jess's roommates wouldn't be joining her in said hallway anytime soon.

Colin's news had shocked her to her inner core. She felt like she couldn't feel anything. There had been an accident while they were base jumping. Logan's parachute didn't open. They had taken him to a hospital, but he hadn't made it.

Logan was dead. She couldn't believe it. She had to get back to Stars Hallow. She couldn't stay here. She had cheated on her boyfriend who was now dead. She went back into the room that not only held Jess, but all of her clothes. She tried to control any emotions that threatened to overcome her. She saw Jess get out of bed and walk up to her.

"Rory, are you alright?" He stood next to her, grasping a sheet with one hand around his waist and putting the other hand on her bare shoulder.

"No, I'm not. I have to go Jess." She gathered her clothes as fast as she could, hoping that Jess wouldn't push the subject.  
"What happened?" She knew that he had to be confused by her actions. She got dressed as quickly as she could.

"I can't explain it right now. I just have to leave." She grabbed her cell phone and her keys, leaving Jess standing there. She hated that she had left it like that. But when she looked at him, it just reminded her of how bad she felt. She didn't know what to do know.

She waited until she was in her car with the stereo blaring to start to cry. Even if she didn't want to be with Logan anymore, a part of her would always love him. He had done a lot for her. And now he was gone. 


	3. Chapter 3

It had been 5 days since she had come to see him. 5 days since he had talked to her. It had been 5 days and 4 missed calls. At first he thought that maybe she was just missing his calls. But as soon as it was day 3 he knew she was avoiding him. He wondered why. With the phone call, she was out of this apartment as fast as she could. He knew there was something that he didn't know. He wondered if he has pushed her too far, it had been her idea to go upstairs, but he could have stopped at any time. But he didn't. He had wanted it and he knew she did too. He just couldn't understand why she didn't want to talk to him.

He picked up his phone once again, hoping that this time she would choose to answer.

"_You've reached Rory Gilmore; I am... ooh something shiny."_ At first he had laughed at her message, but now it just brought out the frustration in him. He slammed the phone down, not reducing himself to leave yet another message.

He wondered what could possibly be going through her head.

She hadn't known what to do with herself. She was techniquely still with Logan when he died. She couldn't explain anything that was going through her head. Her thoughts had stopped making sense. She had gone to her Mom, who had comforted her the best she could. How could she tell her Mom that she had cheated on him hours before he died? How could she tell her Mom that she wasn't the perfect girlfriend like everyone thought she was?

She had gone to the funeral, dressed in black and sat with her Mom and Logan's friends. She kept her head down, racked with guilt. She didn't feel worthy to be sitting with the other people mourning Logan. She knew she was driving herself crazy. She felt her Mom squeeze her hand. Everyone had felt sorry for her, apologized her for loss. She didn't deserve any of it. She felt like a horrible person. She stood up quickly and as discretely as possible and walked as fast as she could without bringing herself any attention, but she felt her Mom's eyes on her back. But she couldn't stop. As soon as she hit the door she ran as fast as she could, not stopping for anything.

She hadn't even realized where she was going until she was already there. She was standing in front of the apartment building that she had once shared with Logan. But she wasn't thinking about who she thought she would be at this chosen moment. She was thinking about Jess. She had just left without giving him any explanation at all. She felt bad about that too. She had wanted nothing more than to be with Jess, but now everything was screwed up. Rory knew it was probably wrong to avoid his phone calls, but she wasn't sure of what else to do. She felt horrible about the whole situation.

She knew only one thing to fix anything at all. She walked back to the church and got into her car. She was going back to Philadelphia. At least she could talk to Jess. Then she wouldn't be completely alone.


	4. Chapter 4

He was sitting, watching TV. but not paying attention to it much. Her blue eyes lying under him kept running through his head. After his last attempt to call her, he had decided to take a walk to clear his mind. He had decided to walk towards an area that he never had before, passing a newsstand. That's when he found out why Rory had not been answering his phone calls. The headline simply read '_Huntzberger dies in accident at 24'. _Jess picked up the newspaper and read the article. It all made sense now. He wondered if she regretted sleeping with him. God, he hoped not. He could only imagine what was going through her head. He just hoped that eventually she would talk to him at least. It seemed like something always kept them apart. Jess sighed. Maybe he could change that this time. He knew he had to give her time; otherwise he would just scare her away. And he was prepared to do that.

It was later that night when he was home by himself. Chris and Matthew had gone to further debate the bar idea and he stayed behind to wallow in self pity. Even though he knew he had to wait for Rory, he still had the feeling in the pit of his stomach that he had lost her before he even had her. He hated the feeling. He had waited too long to have her come back just to lose her again so soon. He stood up and walked to the window, sitting on the seat by it. Maybe he would go to see her after a while. God knew when she was going to answer his calls. That's when he saw her. She was sitting in her car parked across the street. He smiled to himself and watched her. He wondered if she was going to get out of her car. He decided to walk outside and greet her, not taking the chance of her leaving.

She parked in front of the same building that she was in front of just a couple of days before. The light was on upstairs. She wondered if his friends were home too. She couldn't bring herself to get out of the car. She wasn't sure why, but she was nervous. This was the man that she had always loved in the back of her head and she finally had the chance to be with him. She wondered if that night had meant as much to him as it did to her. She wouldn't want to make a fool out of herself on purpose. She sat in her car for close to an hour, with her hand on the handle. She wondered if it was a good idea to go and talk to him. She hoped it wasn't awkward, after all, they were adults and they had made a choice that night. She finally brought herself to get out of the car. She did gracefully and stood there for a second, drinking in the sight in front of her, which was Jess walking towards her.

"Hey." He said and stood next to her. She gulped. He was as handsome as she remembered. That fact certainly hadn't changed in the past week.

"Hey." It was completely lame and made her smile on the inside, remembering the day after the Dance Marathon when they had danced around each other. Oh, how much had changed.

"So, how are you?" She remembered Logan and when they're relationship was first starting. '_We're not going to do the so thing again, are we?'_ She frowned and tried not to let Jess know what was going on through her head. She remembered why she was here. This was the man that she wanted to be with. Logan was gone. She had to let him go.

"Oh, you know." She stalled. She wondered if Jess knew what had happened to Logan. She knew that she should tell him. But for some reason she didn't want to. "I'm sorry that I haven't returned your phone calls." She started.

"I know. I heard about Logan. I understand." He said. She looked up and it and tried to be happy in that moment. He put his hand on her elbow. She knew he meant it in a purely supportive way. She almost felt her knees give out on her. Maybe coming was a bad idea. She should have been completely over the shock of Logan's death before coming to ensure her next relationship. She felt horrible.

"It doesn't excuse anything. I still should have called." She felt herself start to cry, and she knew Jess saw this. The instant the first tear slipped onto her porcelain skin, he was ushering her inside and upstairs. Once she was there, she looked around. It was like returning to the scene of the crime. It only made her fell worse about what she had done and the situation she was currently in.

"Look, I'm really sorry." He said as he gestured for her to sit down. "I'm sorry that I pushed you into what happened the last time you were here. You said you were still with him, but I'm not sorry it happened."

She looked at her shoes and listened to him talk. This wasn't his fault. Not in the slightest bit. "You didn't push me. I wanted it and I'm not sorry it happened either."

She heard him sigh. She had no idea where to go from here. "Where does that leave us?"

She wiped away a tear away and looked at him. "I'm not sure. I think I just need some time. I don't want to have him in my mind when I'm with you. It's not fair to you."

It was him who looked down then. He knew that was probably what she was going to say, but still it affected him. He wanted nothing more than for her to be with him, not Logan. It wasn't fair that he got her even though he was dead. "I understand." It was all he could say. Anything else would have made him sound like an ass, which he was desperately trying to avoid.

She stood up. "I'll see you." She said before disappearing. She hoped that he really did understand.


	5. Chapter 5

She had walked around blindly for the next couple of days, not really sure what her next move would be. People had finally started to die down with their condolences about what had happened to Logan. She was thinking about him less, but her dreams betrayed everything that she had wanted for her waking hours. She wanted to let go of him, she wanted to stop feeling bad about his death, but mostly she wanted to be with Jess. She didn't know what had continued to stop her from taking another trip down to Philadelphia.

But she didn't. The school year ended and she went home to Stars Hallow, spending time with her Mom before her senior year started. That is, when her Mom wasn't spending time with Luke. They had gone through a rough patch but were recently working things out. She was happy for her Mom, she really was.

That day was just like any other during that summer. Except for one slight difference. Luke wasn't at the diner that morning to serve them their coffee and breakfast. Lorelai had told her that he had gone fishing. It was good that he had gone, she thought, he worked hard putting up with her and her Mom. But besides that, the day had been normal. Rory walked around town during late that afternoon, wrapping her arms tighter around her body. It was getting to the end of summer and was starting to cool down. She loved to just walk around Stars Hallow and watch the town's people go about their business.

It was getting darker and colder, which Rory thought was weird for this time of year. Something just wasn't right with this day. It was almost like any other, but it didn't feel right. She didn't understand why until she walked into her house later that night. It was dark and her Mom didn't respond when she called for her. It was after 7, Lorelai should have been home from work by then. She searched the house for her, and she was no where to be found. She settled to watch TV. and eating leftover Chinese food when the phone rang an hour later.

She hardly understood her Mom's words through the tears she was sure was falling down her face. She finally got Lorelai to tell her exactly what hospital when she was already in her car, driving down the street. Rory couldn't believe it, it was the least expected thing to happen that day. She got to the hospital as quickly as she could and ran inside.

"I'm looking for Luke Danes; he was in a car accident." The nurse pointed the way down the hall. Her Mom was waiting for her and eloped her in a hug. She had never seen her this way, so shaken with fresh tears falling before she had a chance to wipe away the previous ones. It scared her to see her Mom like this, and made her more worried about Luke. He was going to be ok, he had to be. She couldn't lose every one, she just wouldn't.

They sat and waited for word about Luke. They sat in silence, in hand in hand. Neither of them knew what was going to happen. Rory closed her eyes and put her head against the wall. She wondered if she was just hurting every one that she cared for. First Logan, which Rory logically knew that it wasn't her fault, but she still felt a sense of responsibility. Then Jess, because she knew that he loved her, yet she was making both of them wait to be together. She knew it had to be bothering him. And now Luke? He had done nothing but care for her and her Mother. He fed them their coffee addiction even though he was against it and had always been there. She looked over at her Mom, who was staring at the ceiling, looking extremely pale. She worried for her Mom, she loved Luke so much. What could they possibly do without him?

It seemed like hours that they were waiting before the Doctor came out and had news about Luke. My Mom had told them that she was his wife, and that I was his daughter. The thought touched me, because Luke had been the strong fatherly figure in my life with the absence of my own.

"He'll be ok." The Doctor said. Both of them let out a breath of relief at the same time. "He'll be soar for a while and will have to have some physical therapy to help him walk, but there is no reason he shouldn't heal and go on with his life." My Mom hugged Rory again, this time crying tears of happiness. She felt tears come down her own eyes too.

Luke was in the hospital for a couple of days, and was restrained to a wheel chair or his own bed for at least a month after. He had broken both of his legs in numerous spots and it would take him a while to heal. But the important part was that he was alive to heal, Rory told herself. He was going to need help running the diner, she realized. She looked at her Mom, letting her know that she would be here to help in any way needed, by just looking at her.

Rory had gone back to school after a couple of days staying in Stars Hallow once Luke was released from the hospital. She had only gone because she had to, school was starting up again and she didn't have any choice in the matter. She came back whenever she could though, whenever she was done with classes for the day and it wasn't too late. She knew she would be needed and wanted to be there.

She walked into the diner a couple of days after Luke had been come home. Her Mom was behind the counter and she sat down.

"What can I do?" Rory asked.

"Nothing. Reinforcements have been brought in." She looked at her confused, what could she mean? "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

"About what?" Talk about timing, Rory thought as Jess walked down the stairs. Of course Jess would come, it was his Uncle. She looked over at him and felt her heart swell for him.

"Rory." He looked as confused as she did.

"Jess." This was perfect, she thought. She watched him walk over to her, drinking in the sight and the scent of him. She was happy to see him thought, the thought of spending time with him when she could made her smile 


	6. Chapter 6

"Jess." This was perfect, she thought. She watched him walk over to her, drinking in the sight and the scent of him. She was happy to see him thought; the thought of spending time with him when she could make her smile 

Chapter Six

She stood in front of this guy. This guy that she had spend weeks, even months thinking about. She stood in front of him smiling, probably thinking the same thing she was.

This is your chance.

She could tell by the look on his face. This guy standing in front of her, looking at her like no one ever had before. He was excited. She was too. The summer was going to be something that neither of them had ever experienced before.

She sat down with her Mom and he came over with two mugs, sitting them down in front of and pouring coffee. She wondered how long he was here for. Given he was helping Luke, but what about his publishing house? She wondered how much of this was he here helping Luke and how much of it was him wanting to see her. It was a horrible thought, but the timing was too off to be able to tell.

Her Mom went to the bathroom. She was left at the table. She would look over at Jess and smile at him, and find him smiling right back at her. Yeah, there was defiantly something there. She came up with an idea, pulling a scratch piece of paper out of her bag and a pen, scribbling something on it. Her and her Mom ate their breakfast and her left. While Lorelai was checking on Luke before they left the diner for the morning, Rory looked over at Jess, watching him watch her put the folded piece of paper on the table. She knew he knew what to do with it. She smiled when her Mom came back down and they walked out the door. She watched him walk to the table and grab the piece of paper.

He walked to the table and could feel her eyes on him as he did. He hoped that she had meant what he had thought she had meant, that the note was for him. He unfolded it carefully; try to imagine her finger tips touching the paper as she wrote. He read it once, twice, three times. Even if it was a simple sentence, it excited him to no end.

Meet me at the bridge. 7pm tonight.

Rory.

Time was not of either Rory or Jess's side that night. It seemed that the more either of them anticipated them meeting between them then the slower time passed. Jess had tried to keep busy, working in the diner and trying not to have a staring contest with the clock on the wall, which the clock always won.

But after several agonizing hours, the clock was finally losing. Jess walked at a brisk pace, trying not to seem too desperate. He looked at his watch ever 10 seconds. He reached the dock and knew that she was there already. There was something in the air. It was lighter, crisper. It was like nothing else. He walked close enough to be able to see her sitting with her feet over the edge of the bridge, dangling them with an innocence that screamed 11 years old.

She was looking at her reflection in the water. She could hear the soles of his converse hit the wood of the bridge. Her heart started to beat faster and faster as she heard his footsteps get louder.

This is your chance

Her words rang through her head. Over and over again. She hadnt realized how much she had missed him, and not only since the last time she had seen him. In the past several years. She wondered what her life would be like back after her Freshman year when Jess should up and she said yes. Would they still be together? Were they happy? Rory just wished that she knew.

She felt him sit next to her. "Fancy meeting you here." He said sarcastically.

"Yeah well, it is a small town." She played along. She suddenly forgot everything she was planning on saying to him. Nothing she had planned out made sense.

"So what are you doing in this part of Plainfield?" He asked. She laughed at his reference.

"I just" She stalled. "I wanted to talk to you."

"About?" He asked almost instantly. Not nearly enough time to formulate her words.

"About how we left things the last time we saw each other." She knew that he knew exactly why she wanted to meet him.

"Look, I understand." He said, somewhat unconvincingly. Or maybe it was just that she knew him better than she thought she did.

"You do?" She asked. He was a better guy than she used to give him credit for.

"Well no, but it sounded nice, didn't it?" He laughed quietly.

"It's not about understanding Jess, even though I appreciate it." She took a deep breath. Why were things so much easier to say to your bathroom mirror? "It's just that" She stalled again. She thought about how bad she was at this.

"It's just what?" He asked. He was very good at the verbal comebacks.

"Now that you are here, in Stars Hallow, I want to spend time with you. I want to see you, see where we go."

"You do, do you?" She saw him smile as her hand innocently brushed against his.

"Yes, I do." He smiled wider. She had no idea what was on his mind now, but she bet that it was good.

"Well then I will pick you up tomorrow." He stood up. "And Rory?"

She looked up at him and saw him looking right back at him. "I've already seen you naked, so leave little to imagination?" She laughed. Although she knew he wasn't joking.


End file.
